There's Always Hope
by Chickee1
Summary: This story takes place just after the episode "Hit & Run" Caitlin has returned from visiting her family and her and Nash are on the verge of breaking up. I recently just finished re-watching the entire series and although I loved the pairing of Nash/Caitlin I was not satisfied with the way the writers handled the break-up of these characters. So here's my take.
1. Chapter 1

**First I do no own anything or anyone from Nash Bridges, all copyright belongs to CBS.**

 **This story takes place just after the episode "Hit & Run" Caitlin has returned from visiting her family and her and Nash are on the verge of breaking up. I recently just finished re-watching the entire series and although I loved the pairing of Nash/Caitlin I was not satisfied with the way the writers handled the break-up of these characters. One episode they are happy and so in love and the next she's gone and they're breaking up! I don't think so!**

 **Also the songs used throughout some of the chapters I also do not own they are borrowed for my pleasure and yours to complete the fanfic.**

 **So this is my take on how I think things could've gone. I know its been awhile since anyone has written a Nash Bridges fanfic so I hope the readers will enjoy this.**

 **Recap of Hit & Run (where I am taking off from)**

 **So Nash and Caitlin are in the restaurant trying to work out where they are and where they're going,**

 **Caitlin** :

You can't commit, and I can't wait.

 **Nash** :

You know, this is only an impass if we let it be.

 **Caitlin** :

Nash, I'm thinking about my future.

 **Nash** :

Me too.

 **Caitlin** :

Why can't you just tell me what you want? Just say it, tell me what you really want?

 **Nash** :

Well, for starters, I don't want you hurt.

 **Caitlin** :

Too late.

 **Nash** :I hope not.

From there Nash and Caitlin are attack, Nash is able to fight off the female assassin however Caitlin is hurt during the attack (hits her head and is kicked in the stomach). Nash takes her home but she awakes in the middle of the night with stomach pains


	2. Chapter 2

After the ordeal at the restaurant and everything was taken of Nash decided it was best to take Caitlin home.

"You know I think I should take you to the hospital" Nash says as he helps Caitlin into the Cuda.

"I'm fine Nash I would just like to go home and forget tonight ever happened" she answered leaning her head against the head rest and slowly closing her eyes.

"If you have a concussion you need to stay awake."

"Nash please! Just take me home."

Shaking his head Nash heads home, with a smile on his face he can't help but keep a close eye the resting beauty sitting in his passenger seat; she always looked so beautiful sleeping. Nash couldn't help but remember the many nights that he would wake up in the middle of the night and just watch Caitlin sleep. Despite the obvious irritation from Caitlin for his caring so much he still smiled, it's the type of fight that she puts up with him reminds him why he fell in love with her in the first place.

"Honey we're here" Nash whispered as he rubbed his hand over Caitlin's cheek attempting to wake her. "Do you need me to help up upstairs?"

"No I should be okay" Caitlin says as she tried to get out of the Cuda but begins to lose her balance.

"Here I got you" says Nash as he quickly wraps his arm around her waist and guides her inside to the elevator.

"Thank You" whispers Caitlin with a small smile. "I guess I hit my head a bit harder than I thought."

"Don't worry Baby I got you."

Once upstairs and inside Nash helped Caitlin into the bedroom and out of her clothes and into something more comfortable. "Do you need anything else?"asks Nash as he pulls the covers up over Caitlin.

"I think I am okay. Thank you for taking care of me Nash" she answers.

"That's why I'm here sister. Get some rest I'll be in the living room if you need anything. I love you" whispers Nash as he places a kiss on her forehead. Quietly he begins to leave the bedroom he considers closing the doors but decides to leave them open enough so he can still see her.

Hours later Nash is suddenly woken up by a loud thump coming from the bedroom. Racing from the couch to the bedroom he notices that Caitlin isn't in the bed.

"Caitlin? Are you okay?" he calls panicky as he makes his way around the bedroom before finding Caitlin on the floor.

"Honey what's wrong?"

"Nash something isn't right" she cries as she grabs her lower abdomen.

"Come on we're going to the hospital" he says as he scoops up Caitlin and hurries to the Cuda.

At the hospital Caitlin is quickly placed on a gurney and taken into the ER, Nash attempts to follow but is stopped by the Nurse. "I need you wait out here Sir, they'll come see you as soon as they're done" she says politely. Nash knows she's just doing her job but he can't help but roll his eyes as he takes a seat.

After what felt like hours Nash finally feels a sigh of relief when he finally saw the Doctor walking towards him.

"Are you with Caitlin Cross?" he asks.

"Yes I'm Captain Nash Bridges..I'm a...we're...together" answers Nash as he tries to read the look on the Doctors face. "Doc...what's going on?"

"Captain Bridges Miss Cross is resting comfortably now, we were able to give her something for the pain and discomfort as well as stopping the bleeding."

"Is she okay? Bleeding? What Bleeding she wasn't bleeding when we got here..she had stomach pains. What's wrong?" asked Nash.

"Other than a mild concussion she did sustain trauma to her lower abdominal area which did cause a few complications including the bleeding which started shortly after she arrived here."

"What sort of complications?"

"She unfortunately had a miscarriage. Such trauma during the first trimester can cause miscarriages as the fetus is not well protected."

"I'm a bit confused here Bubba...she wasn't pregnant."

"I'm sorry but she was about 8 weeks pregnant. She was very much pregnant."

"I...I had no idea" says Nash as he takes a seat unable to wrap his mind around what he had just been told. 'Pregnant' he says to himself. "Does she know?" he asks.

"She does. We told her once she was back in recovery, she was visibly upset so we gave her something that would help her rest. I know it's a lot to take in Captain but..."

"You have no idea Bubba. Am I able to see her now?"

"She's resting right now but when you're ready she's in room 303."

"Thank You Doctor."

Nash was in shock not sure what to say or do he found himself starring at the floor before his feet were finally able to move and make their way towards Caitlin's room. Peering inside he saw that she was still resting something that she probably needed, slowly closing the door Nash leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone; he decided to do the only thing he could think of...he called Joe.

"Joe..it's me"

"Hey Nashman...what's going on?"

"Joe I know it's late but could you meet me?"

Joe arrived at the hospital as soon as he could, after getting off the phone with Nash he kissed Inger goodbye briefly explaining that Nash was at the hospital and as soon as he knew why he'd let her know. Once at the hospital Joe was able to find Nash in the same spot he'd been after being informed about Cassidy's accident; right away Joe knew something wasn't right.

"Nash now I know you didn't move so what's going on? Is it Nick? Cassidy?"

"Caitlin" whispered Nash as he lowered his head. "The blow she took to the stomach by Frankie's assassin was a bit more serious than we thought. She's resting now, I just finished talking with the Doctor."

"So she's going to be okay?"

"In time she will...l I just don't know what to do"

"Nash what's going on? asks Joe.

"Caitlin was pregnant" he whispered.

"Wow pregnant...didn't see that coming...wait did you say was pregnant?"

"The trauma to her stomach caused her to miscarry. Joe I didn't even know she was pregnant and I now I have no idea what to do."

"I'm really sorry Nash. Did she know?"

"The Doctor told her and I guess she was pretty upset so they gave something to help her rest. I just can't wrap my mind around it...pregnant...she didn't even tell me..We never talked about having kids.. I don't even know if she knew before this.. and if she did why didn't she tell me."

"Nashman I'm sure that if she knew she would've told you it's not something that would've been easily hidden."

"I don't know Joe, lately it's been tense between us. We had a big fight and she took off to see her family. The night she came home I was so cold towards her... I love her I really do but I am actually worried that I could lose her."

"Nash you gotta talk to her...go from there."

"Thanks Bubba" said Nash as he placed a friendly hand on his Joe's shoulder before heading back into the building to Caitlin's room. Opening the door he couldn't help but smile 'so beautiful' he said to himself as he took her hand and placed it in his and took a seat beside her.

Caitlin started to come too and feeling that someone was holding her hand she knew instantly it was going to be Nash; "Nash" she whispered. Slowly turning her head she saw his resting form in the chair beside her, "Nash."

"Hey sweetie...how are you feeling?" asked Nash as he wiped his tired eyes.

"Nash...did they..."

"I know. I spoke with the doctor, I'm so sorry honey" answered Nash as he pulled her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on it with his own tears forming in his eyes. "Did you know?"

"I found out before I came back. We never talked about kids...we were usually careful...I took the test before I left..the whole flight home I couldn't wrap my mind around how I was going to tell you. I was wanting to tell you at dinner tonight but..."

"Shhh it's going to be okay."

"How can you say that..I lost our baby."

"It wasn't your fault...It just wasn't meant to be right now but that's not to say it won't happen again."

"With you?"

"Caitlin..."

"I was so scared...but so excited about the baby Nash but the look on your face now shows me how relieved you are..I want you to please leave.."

"What?"

"Nash..I can't do this right now. Just leave" Caitlin said with anger as tears were beginning to form in her eyes. As she much as she didn't want to push him away it just seemed like the easiest thing to do.

" I think we need each other right now...I don't want to leave you. This whole baby thing was a surprise and no I wasn't expecting it but that doesn't mean we wouldn't have made it work."

"Nash we've been headed into two different directions lately.. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think that a baby would've changed anything..would've changed you finally being able to commit to me...just leave."

Standing up from his chair Nash moved closer to Caitlin and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm not letting this one go that easily," says Nash as he once again makes his way to the door. Taking one last look at Caitlin he lowers his head and does as she asks and leaves.

Nash left the hospital completely lost. Slowly pulling out the keys to the Cuda Nash got in started it up and started to drive with no destination in mind. However a few hours later he found himself at a quiet secluded pullout looking over the Golden Gate bridge. Looking over the city he couldn't help but think what it would be like to have a child with Caitlin, a daughter with her beautiful looks his personality...or a son with his charming good looks and Caitlin's stubborn but loveable personality. Either way both Caitlin and he could be in for a world of trouble but it would be amazing. He never considered getting married let alone having a child until he met Caitlin there was just something about her that maybe one day it could happen. She made him happier than he had ever imagined...But now all those possibilities didn't seem possible at all.

Since asking him to leave the hospital a few days had past and Nash had managed to sneak in to see Caitlin a few times; the first was hours after she asked him to leave he thought that maybe she had changed her mind but being as stubborn as she is she just asked him again to leave. The second was a day later he brought by a change of clothes knowing that she was probably going to be released soon.

"I figured you could use these" said Nash as he placed the bag on her bed. "The Doctor mentioned that you'll probably be released tomorrow so I can pick you up."

"I'm going to be staying at my friend Barb's for a few days, I'll send for my things as soon as I can" said Caitlin

"What?"

"Barb is going to pick me up tomorrow...I'd appreciate you not being home."

"Just like that? You're walking out on me" Nash said angrily.

"I don't want to do this now Nash."

"When? When you're packing everything up? The next time you're lying in a hospital bed? The next time you find out you're pregnant?"

"That's not fair!"

"Fair! You wanna talk about fair Sister? We lost something that we created together and you're just willing to give up like nothing happened how's that fair?"

"You never wanted a baby Nash...it doesn't fit your lifestyle"

"You don't know that"

"I know you...I know that this was never going to last. I was just another woman...like Lisa...like Kelly...like Tamara."

"Now that's not fair."

"Just leave"

As he headed towards the door once again Nash turned to Caitlin with tears in his eyes, "You're wrong sister...you were different, whether you want to believe it or not," and with the slam of the door he was gone.

A few hours after the fight with Nash Caitlin was released from the hospital on terms that she take it easy for a few days and try to minimize the stress. Her friend Barb came and picked her up as promised and the two set out for the apartment that Caitlin and Nash had been sharing for months now.

"I'll only been a few minutes Barb."

"Do you want me to come up with you?" asked Barb.

"No I'll be okay. Just going to grab some clothes" answered Caitlin.

Upon arriving at the apartment Caitlin headed for the bedroom and grabbed her suitcase as she quickly started packing what she figured she'd need for at least a week, once finished she was stopped in her tracks when she saw Nash standing in the kitchen.

 ** _When the lights go down in the City  
And the sun shines on the bay  
Do I want to be there in my City  
Ooh, ooh  
_**

"I didn't hear you come in."

"You shouldn't be lifting that suitcase, Doctor told you to take it easy for awhile" said Nash as he started to walk towards her.

"Yes well it's not that heavy, only clothes. I thought I asked you not to be here" Caitlin answered coldly without looking at Nash.

"Funny Barb said that to me downstairs and I'll tell you what I told her...this is my place too and plus I think we need to talk."

"What's to talk about Nash?"

 ** _So you think you're lonely  
Well my friend I'm lonely too  
I want to get back to my City by the bay  
Ooh, ooh_**

"I don't know...Us...the baby...why you're leaving?"

"We talked at the hospital. I'm leaving because there isn't an 'us' anymore."

"Well you made damn sure about that Sister"

"You think I planned this? I planned to get pregnant..lose the baby and lose you? No! This has not been at all easy and you're not helping."

 ** _It's sad, oh there's been mornings out on the road without you,  
Without your charms,  
Ooh, my, my, my, my, my  
Ooh, ooh_**

"Caitlin I know the baby was a surprise and I am sorry that we lost it but why can't we work on this? I love you...I am so in love with you and no matter what you say or do nothing is going to change that."

"If you love me so much why won't you commit to me?"

"Commit to you? We've been together for almost a year you moved in with me what more of a commit do you need?"

"Why won't you marry me?"

"Marriage? Is this all about marriage?"

"Not all of it"

"Listen Sister.. you very well know my track record with marriage hasn't been very good. Marriage and I don't work...but you and I we work?"

 ** _When the lights go down in the City  
And the sun shines on the bay  
Do I want to be there in my City  
Ooh, ooh_**

"Do we? Because lately we haven't. Nash if you don't see me in your future then there's no reason to continue going down a broken path."

"I never said I didn't see you in my future."

"Before or after you found out about the baby?"

"We can fix this..whatever this is we can fix it."

"I don't think we can" said Caitlin as she grabbed her purse and headed for the elevator. "I'll send for the rest of my things. Goodbye Nash."

 **When the lights go down in the City  
And the sun shines on the bay  
Do I want to be there in my City  
Ooh, ooh**

And just like that she was gone the same way she had come into this life. Although not wanting to admit it to himself Nash suddenly felt empty as he walked to the fridge and grabbed himself a beer.

"She's gone Joe" whispered Nash into the phone as he took a sip of his beer.

"You okay Nashman?"

"No...I don't know. I'm not sure what I am feeling..maybe Caitlin was right maybe this whole thing with the baby maybe it was a blessing...a sure sign that maybe her and I weren't meant to be together."

"You don't mean that. You're a great father to Cassidy and Caitlin knows this. I bet you when she found out she was pregnant she probably pictured that baby growing up with the same love that Cassidy has."

"Then why did she leave? I know the baby is gone but who's to say down the road we couldn't have tried?"

"Did you tell her this?"

"Not in so many words. She said there wasn't a point in continuing down our broken path."

"And..."

"She wanted marriage. I'm not ready for marriage again Joe. It didn't work the first two times and I know they say a third time's a charm but I don't want to chance it right now."

"Did you tell her you weren't ready or that you wouldn't marry her?"

"I told her marriage and I don't work."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know Bubba...the only thing I can do is respect what she wants and move on."

"It's not going to be easy"

"I didn't say it would be."


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone at the SIU could sense the tension and did their best to avoid both Nash and Caitlin but it wasn't an easy task. For the first few weeks for Nash after the breakup with Caitlin, he tried his hardest to not think about her but every time he saw her he was reminded of how much he still loved her. He even went as far as sleeping with Chase which he knew was a mistake and regretted it right after, once the case was closed all Nash wanted to do was go home and forget it all. Joe and Cassidy tried to soften Nash' heartache by telling him that the relationship was pretty much doomed from the start. 'She's just the puzzle that you like to solve' Joe had told him, 'She didn't like your car' Cassidy had mentioned over dinner and very quickly reminded him how much Lisa loved the Cuda. Nash knew they were just trying to be there for him he would smile and offer a light chuckle but it didn't help inside.

At home Nash noticed how lonely and quiet it had suddenly became. With Nick home he was able to temporarily forget about Caitlin's leftover presence but lately with Nick gone that wasn't the case. One night as Nash made his way to his bedroom he noticed the dim light had caught the glare of an object by the side of his bed, thinking that he was probably exhausted by the current events he shook his head but the object remained. Bending down he picked up the object which he found to be a watch; but not his watch it was the watch that Caitlin had lent him for the undercover case as a swinging couple. As he sat on the edge of his bed he examined it when suddenly tears began to form in his eyes.

Flashback;

"7:30 not a minute late" Caitlin said as she walked up to Nash who was sitting at his desk.

"Very very nice. I hope you don't mind but I called the department and got your sizes and I went by property and picked up a little something that I don't know might be little more appropriate" he answers as he held up the outfit for her.

"Dido" says Caitlin with a smile as she held up a watch to Nash. "It's my fathers."

"Tony" answers Nash with a smile.

That night despite being undercover Nash realized how much in love he was with this woman. Hell he knew the moment he saw her walk through the SIU doors that she was going to be trouble...with his heart. He was able to keep a clear head but he couldn't stop thinking about their kiss and how she felt in his arms, but being cautious when it comes to women he allowed things to move slowly. The more time they spent together the more they were able to open up and trust one another he knew he was going to be in trouble.

End Flashback;

Nash wondered how long the watch had been laying under the bed as he knew he was going to have to return it to Caitlin who was probably worried that she had lost it. He knew how much it meant to her and now was as good a time as any to give it back. As he wiped the tears from his eyes he headed for the door not knowing what to expect once he saw Caitlin again; sure they had re-established a working relationship but this was personal.

Caitlin looked at the clock as she wondered who would be knocking on her door this late, heading downstairs she quickly grabbed her pistol just in case.

"Nash? What are you doing here? Do you realize how late it is? Is everything okay?" she asked starring at him with concern in her eyes.

"I found this and wanted to return it" he said holding up the watch. "You're not going to shoot me are you?" he added with a smile.

"No No..sorry just habit. I thought I had lost this..thank you" Caitlin answered as Nash placed the watch in her hand. "Do you want to come in for a bit?"

"It's late...do you want me to come in?"

"I thought maybe we could...talk?"

"About?"

"Please come in even if it's just to hear what I have to say" she said moving aside.

Nash slowly made his way past Caitlin, he knew that either way this conversation was not going to end the way he had hoped and he knew that he should just go home but the look Caitlin gave him when she asked him to come inside he couldn't resist.

As the both made their way into the living room Nash took a seat on the edge of the couch while Caitlin stood uncomfortably in front of him.

"Do you want anything to drink? Have you been drinking?" she asked as she look cautiously at Nash who's eyes were still red from the earlier tears.

"Let's talk" Nash quickly answered ignoring her drinking comment.

"Okay...let's talk. I've been trying to find the nerve to talk to you but the timing hasn't been right ..no that's a lie I've basically chickened out."

"So why now?"

"Because you're here and we're alone it's as good as time as any...no work related interruptions...no unwanted ears listening." As she took a seat on the coffee table in front of Nash tears began to form in her eyes.

"I want you to know that leaving you was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but after losing the baby and thinking about what you said about timing and how it wasn't meant to be I couldn't help but take it as a sign that we weren't meant to be together."

"I don't believe that"

"Answer me honestly Nash did you ever consider marriage or even starting a family with me?"

"When I found out you had lost the baby a part of me knew right then and there that I was going to lose you no matter what I said or did. These past few months have honestly been hell."

"Didn't stop you from finding someone to fill my spot in your bed" Caitlin said angrily.

"It was a mistake."

"But you still did it?"

"I am not going to defend my actions to you. We had long since be done Sister. "

"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt"

"And you walking out on us didn't hurt me? Are you aware that everywhere I go I'm reminded of you. I loved you more than I could probably explain, even with Lisa I had never felt this way before and look where that got me."

"I didn't invite you in to argue Nash."

"Then why did you invite me in? To remind me that we're still over..to remind me of what we could've had but never will? Why Caitlin?"

"Do you know how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant? Right away I couldn't help but think of us raising that baby together. But then I got home and you were so cold to me I suddenly thought that maybe this had been a mistake. All of my hopes and dreams with you went out the window."

"You never gave me a chance Sister. You took off to see your family rather than staying home and letting us work 'US' out"

"You let me walk out!" she yelled. "You let me leave, why didn't you come after me Nash? You say how much you love me but when it came to actually showing me you can't."

Nash didn't know what to say...she was right, he had let her walk away without a fight a decision that he has since regretted so without thinking he did the one thing he could. Suddenly before Caitlin could react she found Nash's lips pressed against hers with her arms slowly wrapping around his neck. Nash didn't think twice to kissing her he didn't know what else to do she was mad and upset and he had no words.

Slowly pulling away Nash placed a soft kiss on Caitlin's forehead, "No matter how unsure I have been about so many things the one thing I have always been sure about is how much in love with you I am. You made me so happy that despite everything I knew once I saw your beautiful face the rest of the world didn't matter. I've regretted letting you walk away and there's nothing that's going to change that. You once asked me if I saw us in the future..I did."

With saying that Nash rose from his seat and he made his way to the door , opening it he turned to see Caitlin still sitting on the coffee table in shock, "I did consider it Caitlin but like you said we can't fix our broken path," he said as he placed a small box on her mantle before making his way out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

_As I gather my thoughts with the pieces of my heart  
Tell me, how long is forever  
I'm not afraid and I won't be torn apart  
We've had our time together_

 _Now I make my new beginnings  
I'll start again at any cost  
I've learned a lot from losing you  
But I've got nothing if I'm lost_

A few weeks passed and neither Caitlin or Nash spoke of the kiss they shared. As much as Nash wanted to bring it up he knew he shouldn't things were getting better between him and Caitlin and he figured in time they'd work it all out, but unfortunately that wouldn't be the case and it killed Nash inside.

"I'm leaving Nash..I'm just not happy here..I mean Professionally its ummm it's all the strong personalities I just I have to do something different. Something where I don't have to work so hard."

"Got anything lined up?"

"Hmm...I'm gonna go to DC...my sister just had a baby."

"Bye" she whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"I hate goodbyes" he whispered pulling her close into him.

"Nash I want you to have this back" Caitlin says as she places the small box into his hands.

"You keep it" he whispers.

 _And I keep hoping and I still believe in love  
If I wait long enough, I know I'll be strong enough  
Yeah, I keep hoping, I believe in faith and trust  
I'm gonna find a way there are better days still ahead of us  
I keep hoping _

"I can't. I need to be able to do this with a clear head and as long as I have this I am always going to be thinking of you and wondering 'what if'."

"Is that so bad?"

"I need to do this Nash. I hope that one day you'll understand."

The two can't help but share one last kiss before they go their separate ways.

Caitlin begins to walk away leaving Nash and not wanting to look back. A part of Nash had hoped that because she hadn't returned the ring that maybe there was still a chance but as the weeks went on he slowly began to accept that this time it was truly over.

 _Now this candle burns low it won't last through the night  
But I've found peace and I know it's all right  
I try to understand what's been missing in my life  
Between the darkness and the daylight_

 _No I'm not expecting miracles  
I've got my doubts like any other one  
I've learned a lot from losing you  
But I've got nothing if I'm lost_

Moments later Joe finds Nash still standing in the same spot where Caitlin left him, "Hey Nashman you okay?"

"Caitlin's gone."

"You okay?"

"I don't know Bubba. I thought it hurt the first time she left me but this time...this time it's really stung. She gave me this back. I gave it to her knowing that it wasn't going to happen after everything but a part of me still hoped. " says Nash as he showed Joe the small box.

 _And I keep hoping, I still believe in love  
If I wait long enough, I know I'll be strong enough  
And I keep hoping, I believe in faith and trust  
There'll be better days, they're on their way now_

 _I keep hoping, I keep hoping  
I keep hoping and praying baby, ooh  
And I still believe in love_

"Isn't this what she wanted and why she broke up with you in the first place?"

"She wanted commitment but she wanted it under the right circumstances and after we lost the baby it just never seemed right. And now she's gone."

"I'm sorry man"

"Me too Bubba me too"

 _I keep hoping baby, ooh  
I'm gonna find a way  
I keep hoping baby  
There are better days, ooh, better days_

 _I keep hoping, hoping and praying  
And I still believe in love  
I keep hoping, I keep hoping, hey hey hey  
I keep hoping_


	5. Chapter 5

As the months went on so did Nash, he found himself every so often thinking of Caitlin and often considered picking up the phone to see how she was doing but he knew that would stir up a lot of old feelings. A year past and he had found enough to keep him occupied between work and a few ladies including Tamara and Rachel but neither made him feel the way Caitlin did and he knew this...they only filled a temporary void.

After saying good-bye to Cassidy he watched his one and only daughter board her plane to Paris. Nash couldn't help but feel a little empty, his little girl was leaving. Cassidy had decided to head to Paris to be with her mom after quitting the SIU. The past year and losing Evan had hit her hard and now was her time to finally accept it all and hopefully start fresh. Nash encouraged her to do what she thought was right even if it meant her leaving.

As Nash and Nick are passing the baggage claim Nash is quickly taken from his thoughts as he noticed a figure in the distance.

"What is it son?" asks Nick.

"Nothing I thought I saw someone"

"Who did you see?"

"Doesn't matter...I'm just seeing things. Let's go home"

Once home Nash is lost in thought as he made his way to the couch.

"I'm going to bed son" said Nick as he made his way to his room. "Night Dad" whispered Nash as he let himself drop to the sofa, closing his eyes he hoped the current headache he was suffering from would go away. Suddenly he heard footsteps on the stairs coming towards the entrance of the living room.

"So I did see you at the airport" he whispered keeping his eyes closed.

"Yes"

"What are you doing here Caitlin?" he asked not really wanting to hear the answer. It had been over a year since they had talked let alone seen each other and now she was standing a few feet from him and he knew this couldn't be good.

"I needed to talk to you and I figured this was better than trying to get you on the phone"

Nash opened his eyes and sat up, running his hand through his hair he attempted to rearrange it only then did he allow himself to look up at her. She looked good and even after a year of being a part she still gave him butterflies.

"Can I get you a drink? Wine? Water?" he asks as he made his way into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water.

"No thank-you Nash. I know you're probably not happy to see me but..." she stammered.

"So how's DC? Must be good since I haven't heard from you since you left..what was that over a year ago?" he asked ignoring her early comment.

"Guess you wouldn't believe me if I said I was in the neighbourhood and just thought I'd drop by to say 'Hello' would you?" she says as takes a seat on the stool in front of Nash.

"I'm sure you have your reasons but I doubt that's why" he answers looking coldly at her.

"Didn't think so... this is why I'm here" Caitlin answers as she takes a photo out of her purse. "Here"

"What's this?" asks Nash as he looks at the picture.

"His name is Nicholas...he's your son" she whispers.

"My what? I'm sorry Sister but I'm sure you've made a mistake here. You see I haven't seen you in over a year let alone I am pretty sure that if we had slept together since then I would've remembered."

"Nash...I was pregnant when I left for DC"

"No..you were pregnant we lost the baby."

"We lost one of the babies...turns out I was pregnant with twins and I miscarried one of them. I found out just before I left for DC, we had already broken up and were finally back on decent terms with one another but I couldn't tell you."

"Tell me that you were carrying my child! So the day you gave me back the ring you knew?"

"You weren't willing to commit to me and I didn't want you to just because I was pregnant. I love you Nash...loved you but I didn't want to stay just because of our son. So I left for DC and gave birth to Nicholas a few months later. I'm sorry Nash"

"I was willing to do anything to keep you if you don't remember that's why I gave you a ring. So why now? You could've continued on with your life in DC and I would've never known about him"

"Our relationship was already over before the ring and the baby. It wouldn't have made sense if we would have stayed together, you honestly didn't want to take it further and I didn't want to wait any longer. And for the past year every time I look at our son I am reminded of you and how much we loved each other and because it wasn't fair to him or you."

"Wow...I don't know what to...wow. You have impeccable timing Sister" Nash said rubbing his temples as his headache had just gotten worse to go along with the sudden tightening in his chest.

Trying to meet his gaze Caitlin looked at him trying to read his feelings from the expression on his face, "Look I am here for a few days, this is where I am staying. Nicholas is here with me and I would like for you to see your son," said Caitlin as she wrote down the hotel information. "It's up to you Nash."

Nash watched as Caitlin left, a sight that he hated seeing. He had always regretted allowing her to end their relationship the way they did. He had loved her and eventually he probably would've committed to her but timing was never his strong suit.

After a few moments Nash decided he needed to get some air hoping it would not only help with his headache but also help him sort out what just happened. Grabbing his keys to the Cuda he quickly checked on Nick before heading out.

"Do you have any idea how late it is..." yelled Joe as he opened his front door only to find his best friend and partner. "Nashman what's up?"

"This" he said quickly as he handed Joe the photo Caitlin had given him.

"Who's this?"

"His name is Nicholas..he's my son"

"Son? How old..he can't be more than a year old so that would mean he's yours and..."

"Caitlin. I saw her at the airport after dropping Cassidy off and by the time I got home she was there waiting for me."

"Back up a second...I thought she had lost the baby?"

"She lost one of the babies in the miscarriage. She found out before she left for DC but decided not to tell me. She said she didn't want me committing to her just because of the baby."

"This is huge! What are you going to do?"

"Bubba I wish I knew. She wants me to meet him but I just can't wrap my mind around it right now."

"Okay besides all of a sudden having another child how did you feel about seeing her?"

"Bubba that woman drove me nuts but that's of the things I loved most about her, and when she left I tried my best to put on a good face but it didn't work everywhere I went I was reminded of her. It's been over a year and seeing her again I just don't know now..."

"So do you think this is life giving you a second chance?"

"I don't know but I do know that for the second time in my life this woman has made me feel lost."

"Nash do you wanna come in? Have a drink?"

"No I think I'm going to head home and think about this some more. Sorry for waking you Joe"

"If you need anything Nashman let me know okay?"

"Will do"

"Hey Nash.."

"Yeah?"

"You have a son man"

"I have a son."


	6. Chapter 6

Nash didn't make his way home instead he found himself at the written directions Caitlin had given him. Arriving at the hotel he quickly asked the concierge where to find her room, grabbing the first elevator he soon stood outside her door not knowing what to do next. Suddenly the door opened... it was if Caitlin knew he would come to her tonight not wanting to wait.

"Nash?" she asked looking at him questionably.

"Two things Caitlin..I want to see my son but I also want to know what you are really doing here. I know it's late but we need to do this now" he said as he cleared his throat looking up at her.

"It's okay...I didn't think it would take you too long to come. I'm working with the FBI and before you start I know how you feel about them but it's a good job. We're having a week long seminar here in town so I figured I'd bring Nicholas too" whispered Caitlin as she moved aside to let him in and closing the door behind them.

"So you're not really here because you wanted me to meet my son?" Nash started only to be cut off by Caitlin.

"Yes..and No. A part of me hoped I could come do the seminar and go home. But more I thought about it I realized I had to tell you about Nicholas which is why I brought him."

"Is he sleeping?"

"Come with me" whispered Caitlin as she took Nash by the hand and led him into the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom Nash's eyes were quickly drawn to the playpen off to the side of the room, slowly he made his way towards his son, Caitlin stood next to the door frame watching Nash with a smile on her face.

Looking down Nash watched his sleeping son, tears began to form in his eyes as he thought back to when Cassidy was a baby never thinking how much he really did miss it. Slowly he reached out his hand and gently brushed his son's forehead before turning back towards Caitlin. "Thank you" he whispered as placed a soft kiss on her cheek and continued to look deep into her eyes. "Can we talk about this?"

"This being 'us' or this being your son?"asked Caitlin.

Slowly Nash moved towards the living room taking a seat on the couch he waited for Caitlin to join him.

"When was he born?" he asked.

As Caitlin looked at Nash she couldn't help but smile, quietly closing the door a bit to allow her son to sleep she made her way to Nash.

"He was born about 3.5 months after I left. I didn't start to show until I was almost 6 months..first time pregnancy luck I guess" she said as she took a seat beside him.

"I was in labour for about 18 hrs before he finally came out screaming, 8lbs 11 ounces 23 inches long. As soon as the doctor handed him to me I instantly saw you, he has your eyes. Having him I have never felt a love like that before, the first few weeks were hard each day I wanted to pick up the phone to tell you but I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"And by the way you reacted maybe I should've left him in DC with my sister" she added.

"Caitlin you have to understand that when you told me about Nicholas I was shocked and mad. But after I got here and seeing him now..I don't know. You made probably one of the hardest decisions in choosing to keep him, raise him and keep him from me, and as much as I wish could've been there for you throughout it all I know you had your reasons" he answered.

"But you're not okay with it...I know that tone Nash" asked Caitlin through the tears.

"No I'm not. And I probably won't be for awhile...Caitlin you kept my child from me and to suddenly show up out of the blue over a year later you can't honestly think I'd just be okay with this."

"I'm so sorry Nash and I know no matter how many times I say it you'll probably always hate me" said Caitlin as the full force of tears started falling from her eyes. Nash quickly pulled her into his arms trying to sooth her, "I don't hate you Caitlin" he said.

"But you're mad?"

"Mad and hate are totally different...I'm more disappointed. You're beautiful you know?" Nash added as he pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. "Motherhood definitely suits you" he adds with a smile.

"Don't do that" whispers Caitlin as the tears continued to fall. "You're suppose to hate me, yell at me...do anything but tell me I'm beautiful."

"I thought I could but the truth is I can't. You're as beautiful as you were the first day I saw you."

"Nash please..." Caitlin started but was silenced and taken by surprise by Nash suddenly placing his lips on hers. Nash wasn't sure what had come over him, slowly he pulled back looking for a reaction from Caitlin and when he saw her smile he did what felt so natural and without thinking he found himself placing both his hands on each side of her face, pulling her towards him quickly. He could feel her breath on his lips, leaning down he placed a passionate kiss on her wet lips. Caitlin became caught in the moment and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer longing for more.

"I love you Caitlin..." whispered Nash as he slowly pulled back looking into her eyes carefully wiping the tears out from under her eyes.

Before Caitlin could answer Nicholas started to full in the next room, "Hold that thought?" she asked as she placed a kiss on his lips and headed into the other room.

Nash sat back on the couch running his hands through his hair 'not exactly what I had planned' he said to himself. Closing his eyes he lowered his head to the back of the couch, despite everything he hadn't forgotten about the headache that earlier occupied his thoughts although now it was definitely much worse.

"Nash are you feeling okay?"asks Caitlin as she slowly makes her way back to the couch.

"How's the kid?"

"He's fine just fussing a little bit. Unfamiliar place it's hard for him to sleep. Are you okay? You don't look okay."

"I've just been fighting a headache and with everything going on...it's nothing. I'm actually going to go should probably get some rest, hopefully this will go away" Nash says as he lifts himself off the couch only to quickly fall back down.

"You're in no shape to be driving anywhere Nash. You're running a fever" Caitlin says as she places her hand on his forehead. "You can stay here."

"Caitlin I don't need you to take care of me, I'm fine it's just a little headache. Plus I have Nick at home and can't leave him for a long period" he answers.

"Nash please...I'll make sure Nick is taken care of. Please for me...just rest a bit before you go"

"Okay" he says as he pulls out his phone, "Call Joe?" he asks.

"Of course" Caitlin answers as she dials Joes' number.

"Hi Joe, It's Caitlin I know it's late but I was wondering if you could do me a favour. Nash is here and is running a pretty good fever would you be able to check in on Nick?"

"Is Nash okay? Should he go to the hospital?"

"If his fever doesn't break I'll take him myself"

"Okay Caitlin let me know if you need anything else. It's good to hear from you."

"You too Joe, and thank you."

"I would like to finish...this..." Nash says hesitating but is silenced by Caitlin's lips on his.

"We will but I need you to rest" she says as she pulls a blanket over Nash and watches as he closes his eyes knowing better than to argue with her.

Once she knows he's asleep she heads into the bedroom and slowly takes a breath, when they were together she had felt different; truly happy and now seeing him again she wanted nothing more than to feel that again.

Nash could feel Caitlin's eyes on him once he had closed them after agreeing to rest for awhile; Caitlin Cross since the first time she walked through the SIU doors she had the power to make him feel like no other woman had made him feel before; and she still had that power. Slowly he walks away from her room not wanting to look back, despite his old feelings suddenly coming back he knows he needs to tread lightly.

After what felt like hours Nash finally made his way home, he had woken up feeling good enough to drive he left a note for Caitlin explaining that he would see her later. Once home he found his father sitting in his chair waiting for him. "It's late Nash...Joe said you weren't feeling well. Are you okay?"

"I feel like I'm a kid again...getting caught by you after sneaking in."

"I was just worried about you son. You aren't looking too good right now."

"I know Dad. I was with Caitlin"

"Oh really?"

"Not like that Nick...I went to see my son."

"Son? What son?"

"Long story short, Caitlin was pregnant when she left" Nash answered handing the photo of his son over to his father.

"I can't believe this" whispered Nick. "What's his name?"

"She named him Nicholas...after you" he says with a smile.

"So what does this mean? Is she moving back? Are you getting back together?"

"I honestly don't know. Right now I need rest; my head feels like it's going to explode, my joints are on fire and I'm beginning to sweat like a pig" Nash says as he makes his way towards his bedroom.

"Do you need anything son?"

"No thanks Dad" Nash says with a smile as he closes the doors to his bedroom.


End file.
